Thursday, March 1, 2012

Gay For Pay

Dakota Cochrane
Danny -

I normally do not post anything non-art related on my site, but I felt that I needed to post this.  It is not a moral assessment or even a condemnation, but more of an observation on the whole gay-for-pay phenomenon.

I came across a story today on Towleroad, a gay blog that I read every day, about a new Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) fighter named Dakota Cochrane.  He revealed on one of the UFC shows that he did gay porn in the past, under the name Danny on the porn site Sean  He goes on to say that he is straight and it was gay-for-pay.  He says that he regrets it, but that is neither here nor there with this posting.  This sort of hit me in the stomach, not that he revealed that part of his past, honestly I had never even seen him before, but it was the fact of gay-for-pay.

Growing up in the deep south, very southern Louisiana (not New Orleans), I was not surrounded by anyone that could be called gay.  I did not have any sort of masculine gay male to look up to, all that I had were the stereotypical gay characters on movies and TV shows.  I was not naive enough to think that all gay guys played to that stereotype, but what your head tells you sometimes does not always make as much of an impact as seeing it.

As most young gay guys I turned to porn early on.  It was here that I could see these powerful, handsome, and masculine guys sucking and fucking with other guys.  It sort of reinforced what my mind had kept telling me.  So in a way, porn was a self-esteem booster, for me at least.  I was not unaware of gay-for-pay, but I thought that it was something that was not wide spread.  During this time I grew to like this one porn star, Caesar.  He looked to be the epitome of the guy that I wanted, and he was doing all of these things with guys.  It was good to see.  This lasted for a while and soon I read where he had married his girlfriend and was leaving porn for good.  It was then that I realized that he was gay-for-pay.  It was like a kick in the gut.  I mean it was not like I knew this guy or anything, but the idea of him was shattered.  I don't know why it affected me like that but it did.

This is not a posting where I lost self-esteem because a porn star turned out to be straight, but it is something that I see happening more and more these days and it still feels like a slap in the face when I find out the truth.

I know that sites like Sean Cody and Corbin Fisher are catering to this idea, it is their whole M.O.  They show straight guys doing all of these gay things.  Yes it does hit on a fantasy that most of us have, I know that I do have that as well.  I also know that these sites make up all of the back-story on these guys and in all actuality the majority of them are gay and just playing a role, but when you do find out the truth it sort of destroys the fantasy that you have in your mind that these guys are really gay, but just putting on a "straight" face.
Matthew Rush

There are plenty of truly gay porn stars out there that are gay and do match up with the ideal that most of us have, Matthew Rush is the first that comes to mind.  But for every one of him there are others like Logan McCree that you build up in your mind that are gay, but you find out that they are straight, usually when they are getting out of the business.
Logan McCree

Being gay-for-pay is nothing new and will still be going on for as long as there is humanity.  Hell I have paid for subscriptions to these sites in the past, and probably in the future, so yes I am supporting this idea as well.  But even with that I still can call out this observation.  I just know from experience that when you find out for fact that someone you fantasized about says that they were just gay-for-pay, it is a blow to the personal self-esteem that a lot of us have built over the years as we battle against the rest of the world that tries to portray us one way.  To me it seems to say that there are no masculine gay guys out there, that we have to pay straight guys to do those things.

A lot of people these days say that sexuality is a gray area, and for the most part it is, but a lot of us that grew up before the turn of the century, had to sort of build this idea of solidarity to combat the wanton attacks by the majority to make us seem less than we are.  So it just sometimes feels like another blow to the armor when someone comes out as gay-for-pay.  I am just at fault as many others for going to sites like Sean Cody and Corbin Fisher that propigate the "straight" guy persona.  I think most of us that go there are not there for the idea of a straight guy doing gay things, but that this "straight" guy is really gay and just putting up a front.

So in closing, this is not a post about that this is right or wrong, it is just my observations brought on by that Towleroad article that I read.  Take what I said for what it is worth.

1 comment:

BiffandGunloc said...

Thanks for posting your thoughts about this. Was a very interesting read.